Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day! (Two Months and Counting)

I realized yesterday that it has been two months since I was hospitalized. I still don't feel truly well, and long for the day that I will. For the last week or so I have been reading a daily digest compiled of e-mail from others with Factor V, and I'm thinking that I might stop. For every person who is doing well with treatment it seems there are two others who have had horrible reactions to the blood thinners such as hyper-coagulation and skin necrosis. I realize that this is the nature of such lists: those who are feeling well are out there living their lives, not in search of answers on the web.

I had a CT scan a week and a half ago, and it showed that I still have clots in my lungs, though they're much smaller than they were, and "are thought to be going away" according to my Dr. I was hoping that they were already gone. After all, the clot in my calf had dissolved in a couple weeks. I guess that two months is a tribute to how large the emboli in my lungs really were.

In regards to living one's life-- I'm not sure if it's because of being off birth control or what have you, but I am having an especially weepy and melancholy PMS episode this month. It's no fun at all. I'm also struggling to stay motivated in school even though I have a lighter load this semester. At least I'm feeling somewhat well, attending classes, working two (very) part time jobs, and trying to keep my paranoia in check. I was a healthy, marathon-running person before all this happened, and I will be again.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

>I was a healthy, marathon-running person before all this happened, and I will be again.

Ga-bingo! Stencil this in reverse on your forehead so you can see it in the mirror every morning!

Love hee munch - Noona

PS - It's two years today for me. I didn't think I'd ever be normal again but most days now I can pass pretty good. Thanks to you again and forever. Love (circled).

6:35 AM  
Blogger Lemony said...

Wow. It's crazy that it's been two years. I'm so glad I was able to be there for you. Two years as well since the Mister proposed-- time does fly.

I try to keep in mind that human beings are far more adaptable than we think we are. The fearful lament "nothing will EVER be the same" loses some of its power when you think about how many things happen that change the course of your life, and how most of the time you don't even notice. (Of course, illness does have a way of rocking one's world. . .)

Anyhow, thatnks for the Valentine's Day surpise-- sure didn't look like Snickerdoodles:-)



9:19 AM  

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